Commentaries for English 100
 Susan Spangler, Instructor

 

With each “final for now” paper that you submit for this class, you will also write a commentary on the paper.  The commentary allows you to reflect on your writing and allows me to understands your intentions for the paper and your process.  Thus, it is the most vital part of your paper submission because it reinforces the idea that good writing is not accidental.

 

Suggestions for writing the commentary:

 

These are some of the questions you should address in discussing your paper:

What you were trying to do in this paper?  What is it that you want the reader to come away with after reading your paper?  What do you want the reader to think about the work you take up in the paper and what do you want the reader to think about you?  (In the sample, I've highlighted these statements in green.) What specifically did you do as a writer to encourage the desired response from your reader? (In the sample, I've highlighted these statements in pink.)

 

These are some of the questions you should address in discussing your process:

Elaborate on how your writing process for this unit was either different from or similar to the previous unit.  How did you come up with the idea for your paper?  How did you use the comments from the instructor and peers in the process of writing?  Which comments were especially helpful?  Which were not, and why did you choose not to incorporate them?  Share your thoughts on how you will globally revise this for your portfolio.  What major element could you change that would prompt major changes? 

 

 

Sample Commentary

 

With this paper, the DSI application, I was trying to convince readers (other faculty members of the department) to give me a raise.  Basically, I had to present evidence that my teaching, scholarship, and service were “meritorious.”  I wanted the readers to understand that I worked very hard last year and that I am a valuable member of the department.  I also wanted them to think that I put a lot of thought and care into my teaching, scholarship, and service.  In order to encourage those responses, I made sure that I had all the appropriate documents (evidence) gathered into the application.  I knew that if I were missing putting in something that I had discussed in the application, they might doubt its authenticity.  I also made the application as easy to read as possible:  I got a binder and divided it into sections, each with an introduction that thoroughly explained what I was including and why.  My letter that introduced the entire application was short and direct with bulleted points that highlighted the most important information.   I also used a blue font on the CV that highlighted the most recent additions.  I know that the people reading the application don’t have a lot of time, and I wanted to be sure that they looked at specific documents.  Bullets and blue fonts help them find the information quickly so they don’t feel like they are wasting time.  I wanted to make my application as easy to read as possible.  I also used a good bond paper on my letter and on the introductions.  This indicates to the readers that I care very deeply about what I do and take pride in it.

I decided to use this topic for my first paper because I knew the deadline for the DSI application was approaching soon.  I didn’t really “choose” the topic:  It was something I felt compelled to write anyway after my department chair mentioned it in our weekly meeting.  And I will have to write something similar for my 3rd and 4th year renewal anyway, so I can use basically the same information.   During the revision process, I had my mentor look at my work, and she suggested that I include all the publications I had last year, not just the first pages of each.  Her rationale was that some of these publications were lengthy, and the readers would be impressed by that.  So, I did take her suggestion and printed out the other pages.  I asked her if I should cut anything, some of the less important classroom activities that I had included, and again, she suggested that “more is better.”  Again, I took her suggestion and included everything “new” that I had done.  I did not receive any advice that I did not take on this paper, mainly because I trusted my mentor, who has a thorough understanding of what this document calls for.

When I globally revise this paper, as I will for my Renewal Statement, I will mainly use the same information, but I will rearrange it.  I suppose that means that the organization will be globally revised.  I’ll combine all the introductions to each section into one “narrative” because that’s what is specified in the renewal process.  I will keep information highlighted, and I’ll probably cut down the publications to one page each, mainly because I think that the new readers (mostly administrators) just want proof of the publications, not that they’re going to look at each page of it.  I will also ask my department chair for suggestions as I globally revise it.